by Michael Satterfield
Building your own unique vision of a dream car can sometimes mean taking risky choices, but some choices should be avoided at all costs, here are five surefire ways to ruin your ride.
1. Chrome Everything: Sure you have just picked up your slightly used, Chrysler PT Cruiser, but it just needs a little something to really make it look like a 1950's lowrider. So you turn to that Mecca of all customization, PEP-BOYs and buy everything in the chrome section, there is no 3M double sided tape back piece of chrome you can pass up. Sadly you end up driving around in what looks like a circus wagon, real lowrider guys don't respect you because you tried to knock off their style, real car guys won't even talk to you. So you are forced to join the PT Cruiser Club... this only makes things worse because they expose you to a world of fender skirts and fake Continental Kits. Just stop before you start and don't buy the PT Cruiser.
2. The Race Car: Most of this car also came from the local PEP-BOYS aftermarket department, from stick on performance scoops that don't funnel any air into the engine, to fake heat extractors that don't let it out this car is a real performance machine. This car is clearly a racing car since it says "racing" at least 7 times on the car. These little Mazda's are actually kind of cool. Toss the decals and scoops, get some matching wheels, and enjoy driving.
3: Bondo Sculpting: This truck looks like a melted crayon. Its strange hand-formed front end, tubular steel bumper give it a real ready to work look. At least the owner has a sense of humor and wrote MAD MAX backward on the hood to warn motorist he is behind that the truck of the apocalypse is coming.
4: Sticker Power: If one sticker is worth 10 hp this is the fastest car in the world. Featuring more vinyl than a record shop this car has by far the most stickers I have ever see. But I would suggest he just start overlapping them into a complete paint job. Might as well.
5: Cheap Aluminum Wings: Ok look we all go through that wing phase, but I hope I can avert some casualties here. What makes this sin so egregious is not the strange position of the wing, not the extra lights, but that it is on an FWD Sentra. Guys if you have an FWD car you need more downforce on the front wheels, not the back.
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